When I was 14 my dad sexually abused me. I told my mom about it and she called the police. The police locked him up. He told his wife he didn’t do it and no one believed me, he said he was sleepwalking. The state put me in Marygrove for 30 days, and then I was supposed to go back and live with my great grandma because my mother is not a fit parent. She’s young, and has 4 children. My mom stays around the corner from me, she and I are like close friends.
When I was 16 my great grandma sent me back to my daddy’s house, but he didn’t send me to school and didn’t buy me food. That is when I started acting out, staying out late, having sex with my boy friend. I would spend the night at his house and my dad didn’t care. So my great grandma said I could go back to her house.
My great grandma was more strict and I could follow the rules. She bought food, made sure I was in bed and gave me an allowance. It was so much better. I didn’t come home to a dark house, my aunt, my grandma and my brother were there too. I went to University City High School at that point. My brother talked to his friends and everybody kept asking me what happened to me, I started getting into fights, my comfort zone ended up being with Bob, my daughter’s daddy. Then Bob’s mom died and left him homeless. My aunt didn’t want him to stay with us, so I left. My Grandma’s ex-boyfriend has an apartment that he is renting to me.
It is hard to believe when you see my dad how he treats me and my brother. He is middle class, went to college, has a wife, kids and a nice house. Once he met my stepmother, he only cared about her. She had money and a five bedroom house. I don’t talk to my dad much. My dad will call me, but when he is around his wife he will rush off the phone. It used to hurt my feelings, when I was younger. The day I took the GED test he texted me and wished me good luck.
Sometimes I begin to hurt when I remember how he hurt me. Every time my daughter’s father plays with her I get scared that he will do what my daddy did to me. We’ve broken up because I don’t trust him or anybody. I’m questioning how he plays with her. I can’t help it. When anybody is playing with my daughter I always monitor it to protect her from those things. At Marygrove we had group therapy. I don’t want people to feel sorry for me.
I heard about Women In Charge from my pediatrician on Olive who told me to go there and get my GED. I started last year, and left when I didn’t have a place to live. I started again this August because I felt like I was at a better place in my life, and able to focus solely on my GED. When it comes to learning I do better in a small class, in a large class I get distracted. When I start talking to the other women either Sue or Ann will tell me to finish what I’m working on and get me back on track. They will tell the class to quiet down.
Everybody is comfortable around each other. Here the teachers can focus on each student, it encourages you to get up every morning and come back to school. I have changed because I know what I want to do, I see life from a different perspective. I learned that nothing is going to come to you, you have to go get it. I used to look at myself as a person that can be stereotyped: single mom, no education, on welfare, and now I see myself as a person with goals and morals, a person that will be something in life. I see that there are people who really do care, even if they don’t know you and your situation. Ann and Sue basically made me want my GED more. Ann really pushed me, she is that friendly bully. Lynn kept telling me I couldn’t get a good job without a GED. Sue is very laid back trying to help me with what I needed to do, she let me decide when I was ready to take the test.
I am fortunate not to have any learning disabilities. My next step is to look in to colleges, and finding a major that would best fit me. I would tell everyone to come to Women In Charge, they are loving and caring.
Abby passed the GED. She is currently employed, and still plans to attend college.
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