Newsletter

Pandemic Plans

Following Missouri State guidelines, our last day of in person classes was March 10th

What are we doing now?

Academics: providing support through on-line/email/Google classroom assignments to our students AND helping them help in their new roles of teacher to their stay at home children.

Resources: assisting our student finding items like food and diapers; with housing and medical issues.

Mental Health: counseling and other help dealing with job loss, increase in domestic violence, children home all day and the stress and anxiety of living in these strange times.

Fundraising: considering how we raise funds to continue to help this vulnerable population.

Edina’s Story

Being at the homeless shelter, I just didn’t want to just sit there.  I needed to better myself for me and my child.  I needed to finish school because my mother never finished school and I didn’t want to create a cycle.  Miss Ann told me I’d be finished by spring and that’s good because I just started at the end of January.

A lot has happened in my 17 years of life – I’ve been through depression, anxiety, mental and physical abuse.

My father was working all the time, my mother was mentally abusive and I always had to be my own support.  That’s why my self esteem is low, my mother can break my heart but I can’t stay away from her.  I still have that expectation to be treated as I deserve to be treated.  She always lets me down.

I grew up in Grand Rapids Michigan.  We moved to Illinois to be with my mother’s boyfriend. My junior year of high school got rocky.  A lot of bullying at school and a lot of physical abuse by my mother’s boyfriend.

I met my boyfriend on social media – he was 23 and I was 16.  He manipulated me – he made me laugh – but I didn’t see the darkness in him.  I got pregnant and I got a job.  I was supposed to pay $25 a week to my mother and her boyfriend to take me to work and because he bought the food for the house.  I worked 7-hour shifts, but he wouldn’t let me eat until I got my paycheck.  I was so hungry – this went on for two weeks until I got paid.  Then my mom’s boyfriend started putting his hands on me.  He tried to choke me, he hit me, he tried to pour hot grease on me.  I told my mom but she blamed me so I moved in with my baby’s father. When I tried to leave he started to hit me, locked me in his house and took away my phone.  So, I went back to my mother’s house.  I had to sleep with one eye open.

I called the homeless hotline and they gave me a case worker who tried to find me a safe home.  I decided to search with her and I found a shelter for teen girls and their babies.  My case worker called them every day for a month and finally I got in.  I cried when I got in because I wanted my baby to have somewhere where she would be safe, and I didn’t have to sleep with one eye open.  My pregnancy was high risk because I had high blood pressure.   Now it is great because I got away from all that stress.

From when I was 5 years old to when I was 10, my grandmother’s husband sexually abused me.  I didn’t think it was bad, nobody explained to me that he wasn’t supposed to do that.  So, it left my memory because I wasn’t dwelling on that.  No one told me that’s not normal.  When I got old and started being able to understand, things that he did to me came back in a nightmare.  I didn’t understand, I asked “why me?” and I started acting out in school.  Now that I have counseling and therapy, they tell me I have PTSD.  I’m better now, I decided to get on medication to get out of that deep sulking depression because I wanted to be a better person for me and my baby.  If I’m not okay she’s not okay.

This last year and a half, especially since I got into this shelter, I have a stronger sense of security.  I didn’t know about God before; once I found him my life took a whole 360.

All of this stuff I’ve been through had to be because of God, this drastic change in scenery.

{Edena left the shelter suddenly.  We do not know where she is, but we hope to see her again.  She has strong academic skills and was on track to sit for the HiSET in a few weeks.}

Our Mission Statement

Women In Charge heals the spirit, builds confidence, and educates women in need so that they may provide a better life for themselves and their children.

We offer Adult Education and Literacy instruction, HiSET preparation, individual and group counseling, career counseling, parent mentoring, yoga and computer classes.  The program is free of charge. A free on-site children’s program is available to participants. Women In Charge hours are Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 9:00 to 12:30 PM. Summer hours may differ.

Fundraising Woes

Good News: Women In Charge did not have a spring fundraiser that had to be cancelled.

Bad News: Women In Charge is very dependent on the fall fundraiser.

Our traditional party for 250 people where we serve a delicious buffet of Salt + Smoke food, and then open the spread of homemade desserts, just doesn’t seem like a good idea this year.

Just because we are not having a face to face fundraiser doesn’t mean that our need is in any way diminished. We are looking at different options and will keep you posted. Please remember us when you are thinking of donating to a GREAT cause in these rough times!

Why is it more important than ever?

The high rate of unemployment tends to impact the poorest of the poor first—that would be our participants. They will need: their high school credential to have a chance of finding a job; counseling to deal with all the added stresses; assistance in finding resources; help in planning low cost meals to feed their families.

Many of our participants live with larger family groups. Numerous children from multiple families with just a few bedrooms. Is it any wonder domestic violence is on the rise?

Did you know?

If you do your Amazon shopping through smile. amazon it will automatically give Women In Charge a .5% donation on all eligible products.  It sounds small but it really adds up.  Think about how often you order from Amazon…

Just select Women In Charge the first time you use Amazon Smile and after that it is automatic.  So easy and it costs you nothing. Please consider this.

Board of Directors

Robert Fox, President

Katy Cortinovis, Vice President

Marti Miller, Secretary

Scott Hunt, Treasurer

Gordon Friedrich, Robert Johnson, John Sharp, Katie Sprung, and Tom Wheeland

Staff

Victoria Sharp, Co-Director

Susan Wright, Co-Director, Math Instructor

Rae’Jean Alford, Literacy Instructor / Technology Coordinator

Ann Getz, HiSET Coordinator 

Holly Haywood, Child Care Staff

Natalie Wills, Childcare Director

Lynn Wolf, Social Worker/ Development Coordinator

Phone: (314) 432-7300

Email us at: vsharp@womenincharge.org

Check out our website: WomenInCharge.org

Like us on Facebook!

Download Spring 2020 Newsletter PDF here.

Thank you to Salt + Smoke for donating the fantastic pulled pork, pulled chicken, falafel, stuffed mush-rooms, pit beans and slaw we enjoyed at our 2019 Fundraiser. What a delicious spread!!

We raised over $94,000 at the annual fundraiser! Thank you to our generous anonymous donor who provided a $20,000 match for donations the night of the event. Thanks so much to every one of you for your donations. Great party and great success!

Aliyah’s Story

The first time I came to Women In Charge was about a year ago after I had my daughter in October of 2018. I realized I needed something to further my education to become more financially stable for two kids and find out what I wanted to do in life. I was living with my mom, but we started fighting.

I was doing dishes every day, taking care of a puppy that wasn’t trained and basically keeping the house clean. I was even putting in my food stamps to keep food in her house. But then we started arguing – my mom would take out her man problems on me and my sister. The big argument was she wanted to claim my kids on her taxes. But she wasn’t doing anything for my kids, I was paying for everything my kids needed. She wanted to pay off her student loans with the money she got back. She said I needed to give her $200.00 a month for rent or carry my kids on her taxes. So I basically packed up my kids’ stuff and moved to my baby father’s house. 

My kids were two years old and 4 months old when I was first starting to deal with homelessness.

My relationship with my baby’s father wasn’t good. I stopped going to Women In Charge because I didn’t know how to catch the bus from his house. One good thing was I helped him with his mother. I would change her diapers, clean her up. She had kidney failure. She was nice, I could talk to her about anything. She would guide me on the best ways to raise my son. She would give me money to put in my pocket for helping her. She told me she thought of me like her daughter.

I started leaving my baby’s father’s house because we were fighting – and I’d go stay at my sister’s apartment. I’d go back and forth, but then my sister lost her apartment. Then my baby’s father lost his house. So, I went to stay with a friend, which lasted about a month. While moving around I had to find all kinds of resources for my kids to get free stuff like diapers and wipes. I never had money to wash my clothes or my kid’s clothes, so we wore dirty clothes all the time. I just felt like a burden – I was stuck, I couldn’t help myself. I used to cry all the time; I felt like a bad mom. I felt like I couldn’t raise my kids. I never want to let that happen again. And now I was hiding another pregnancy. I didn’t know what I was going to do with this baby.

In the end of July, I moved in with my grandma. I love her to death, but I don’t like her. I knew I wasn’t going to stay there permanently. I was going to find a shelter or maternity home to stay. I just knew I was at my lowest. I found Good Shepherd and went in for a tour. I knew it was going to be more structured, but I felt I needed that in my life. They helped me become more stable and able to get things done. I told them at Good Shepherd that Women In Charge is where I wanted to go, I started back in September. Now I’m able to put my kids in a healthier educational environment at the daycare at Women In Charge. At Women In Charge I’m getting a lot of help. I enjoy going. It is peaceful for me and I know I will be able to achieve what I want.

(Aliyah is a bright, articulate young woman, but at this point we cannot say how this story will unfold. Homelessness, with young children, creates chaos, no matter how much we hope for a happy ending.)

Meet Rae’Jean

Rae’Jean, our newest instructor at Women in Charge, feels “womb to work” best describes this job for her. Her own mother attended a program much like Women In Charge when she found herself pregnant with Rae’Jean at age 16. After having Rae’Jean, she was able to use the program to finish her classes and get her GED. Now Rae’Jean is hoping to help women reach their fullest potential, just as others helped her mother.

Rae’Jean attended Tougaloo College in Mississippi, receiving a Bachelor’s in English. She is now attending graduate school at SIU-E, pursuing a Master’s in English with a specialization in Literature. As a first generation college student, Rae’Jean has witnessed firsthand how the power of education is able to transform one’s life. With this passion for education, it has been an easy decision for Rae’Jean in deciding what she ultimately wants to do in life: teach.

Rae’Jean is not ignorant to what many of our women are facing. Having experienced a number of hardships in her own childhood, Rae’Jean understands how socioeconomic barriers can prevent someone from excelling in school. Also, as a black woman having attended school in both the South and on the East coast, she understands the stark differences in educational programs. She understands how racial tensions and a lack of diversity often push students out of classrooms before they even have a chance to become truly engaged with their educational experience.

This firsthand experience and knowledge has cultivated Rae’Jean into the passionate teacher she is today. The students already love Rae’Jean and we look forward to seeing what the future holds.

Love Out Loud

A flood of books and school supplies has thrilled the staff and students at Women In Charge! It started with a tweet by Rae’Jean about a sleeping student and a heated discussion ensued. 

Should a teacher refuse to allow a student to sleep in the classroom? What if the student is living in a homeless shelter with an infant? Compassion versus enabling – almost 300,000 likes and over 7,000,000 engagements – clearly the topic sparked interest. Numerous people felt moved by the plight of young, single moms trying to improve their lives, and sent gifts of supplies to Women In Charge. The novels are meant to encourage a love of reading and include books by Angie Thomas, Maya Angelou, Sister Souljah and Zora Neale Hurston.

Yum!

You know who you are! You have it figured out – the dessert table at the Women In Charge fundraiser provides some of the most scrumptious desserts you can find. No dry wedding cake with icky whipped cream icing here. The most die-hard chocoholics come away with that special smile on their faces. One can pretend to be bringing back a plate “for the table,” but really it is much more important to try each one of the many options yourself.

Women In Charge has been blessed with the Dessert Divas – a group of men and women who love to bake, and do it very well. We have heard numerous times how much attendees look forward to the dessert table every year. Several years ago Sandy Marsh was chatting with her friend Bonnie Yoder and they came up with the idea of putting together a group that would provide, not just a small table of desserts, but a full smorgasbord of dessert choices.

While most of the “Divas” just have years of experience pleasing their families and friends, Dana Barhard is a professionally trained baker who brings several delicious choices and Monica Matheny, blogger extraordinaire, provides the fabulous toffee. In fact, her recipe is on theyummylife.com. These women are so devoted that even when Bonnie is out of the country, she has done the early organization and then found very capable “Head Divas”, Kathy Freese, Mary Ellen Campbell and Joanne Roman, to make sure the evening comes off without a hitch. 

From the presentation to the taste, the Dessert Divas are women in charge of an important part of the benefit!

Download Fall 2019 Newsletter PDF here.

Spring 2018

What’s New?

At Women In Charge, 100% of our students showed progress as measured by state guidelines. The state and federal target is just 50%. Missouri on the whole topped the nation in Adult Education advancement at 65%.

Harder to measure is improvement in Life Skills and Stability. However, 81% of our students did make improvements through achieving stable housing or leaving abusive relationships.

Missourians who earn their high school equivalency make an average of $7,500 more per year than those without a high school education according to the Missouri Department of Education.

Sheryl’s Story

My dad left my life at age five, but I had a stepfather from there on. He was amazing, he treated me like his own, he was still able to work, he brought us gifts, he cooked and cleaned. He was very supportive of my mom and her kids. We lived with my grandmother and she was awesome,  she taught me how to pick greens, grow stuff, be a kid but at the same time knowing what to do. She was a better mother figure then my own mother. So we were all surrounded by family until my grandma died when I was 10 years old. Then everybody ended up going their separate ways. My mom couldn’t maintain it all for 8 kids: clothes, shoes, food. It was four of us – she had to get more help from family and friends. It was hard, my sister who was 16 became our mother figure. She was prepping us to be more aware, independent – she was trying to do it all.

I ended up dropping out of high school in 9th grade because I didn’t have the proper things to attend school. There was no one to buckle down on us to say, you need to be in bed at this time, you need to be up and dressed by this time and be at the bus at this time. There was no guidance.

I went to work right away, I got my first job at the Urban League. My aunt got me a bank account to save my money, but I ended up giving all $300 to my mother because we were on the verge of getting evicted. I had planned to buy me more clothes, shoes, undies, personal hygiene things. I had planned to help my mom, I just didn’t plan to give it all to her. But we were able to keep our home and pay our utilities.

I didn’t have sex until I turned 17. I was straight and narrow; even my friends parents were strict. I didn’t get raped, I didn’t sniff, I didn’t do powdered drugs. I never ran away from home. I was a tattle tale, my sister was a run away, so I had to keep an eye on her. People look up to me because I help people out of situations. I don’t get into situations. I got in one fight in high school, but I did show them I can defend myself. I was never bothered again.

I did general cleaning for companies for four years and tried to earn my GED on my own for about a year. Next, I went to 2 GED programs. I quit. I went to Urban League – she just gave me a book and said this is where you start. I was there only one day. She didn’t explain anything, didn’t answer, or wasn’t able to answer, questions. In 2004 I met Martin when I was taking my mother somewhere and I got stuck on the highway. My mom knew him, he towed cars and he towed my car back to the house. So that’s how we met. I got pregnant with twins, and then a year and three months later I also had a little girl. Martin had eight kids before my three, he was family oriented, always wanted to barbecue. He was a great father. He did it all: cooked for them, gave them baths and put them to bed. He also showed me the “wild life”. I never had that type of life – it was fun. He loved parties. I was observant, innocent, hesitant, while Martin was actually fun.

I was working at Delmar Gardens, having earned my CNA license. I went to work on December 2rd, 2017 at 11pm. When I got off at 7:15 in the morning we sat and talked for a while, he left at 9:00. By 11:30 he was dead, somebody walked up to him and shot him in Wellston. What happened didn’t make sense. He was meeting a friend to wash his truck, and then a different friend told him to come to another place to finish washing it. I’m waiting for the police to find out what happened.

I had asked Martin if there was anyone else in life – intimate, and he always said no. I was still skeptical that that was not the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I actually left it alone after that – accepting the fact of not knowing. But that little piece of not knowing certainly is everything. I will move on.

My specialist from Better Family Life recommended that I go to Women In Charge. It is a motivating place and it helped my spirit lead me down the right path. It’s where you really want to be especially when you have goals to complete. My goal is to teach children and going to cosmetology school. My children need to know way more than mommy knew. I want to be to my children what my grandma was to me.

We Need Auction Items!

Our annual fall fundraiser may seem far away, but preparations have begun. Do you have:

A vacation home you could share for a week? Do you make jewelry? Could you donate a gift certificate? Would you like to assemble a basket of goodies? Do you have a skill to share, such as making a dinner or dessert? Please consider donating! Thank you!

Silver Anniversary

Mark your calendars for Friday October 5th. Help us celebrate our Silver Anniversary – Women In Charge is 25 years old!

Where Are They Now?

Asia—Honor Roll at Harris Stowe

Barbara—Pharmacy Tech

Daphne—small business owner

Gloria—tech at St. Luke’s

Kelly—final semester at UMSL

Marlene—applying to St. Louis Community College LPN program

It’s All In Your Head

Does your head ever whirl replaying conversations of the day, worrying about upcoming events, and stressing about getting things done?

Handling stress well makes all the difference during your day. Unhealthy ways to handle stress include alcohol, drugs and anger.

Learning healthy ways to handle stress is something we try to teach at Women In Charge. Recently we began emphasizing meditation in yoga class. Yoga itself provides many health benefits. Meditation adds to it and had the advantage of being something our students can practice at home, taking just five or ten minutes out of their day.

Benefits of meditation may include: lessening of anxiety and depression symptoms, reducing blood pressure, helping with binging and emotional eating and better sleep.

Pi Day

Pi = 3.14

So Pi day is March 14 – 3/14

We hope all of you had a lovely Pi day as well!

Download the Spring 2018 Newsletter PDF here.

Download the Spring 2017 Newsletter PDF here.

Spring 2016

Could YOU Pass the HiSET ?

Here are a few practice test questions. Several questions feel like more information is needed, so just like our students, do the best you can! Answers on Page 3.

Social Studies:

1.) Which of the following is a defining characteristic of early river valley civilization?

A.) Large settlements

B.) Nomadic migration

C.) Stone tools

D.) Subsistence farming

2.) Which of the following individuals would be expected to present the most balanced discussion of a new state law regulating union activity?

A.) The legislator who sponsored the new law

B.) The President of the state’s largest labor union.

C.) The chairperson of a statewide association of business owners

D.) The chairperson of a labor/business task force established by the legislature.

Mathematics:

3.) Clerks at a picture frame store are paid $7 per hour plus $3 for every frame order placed during a shift. How much did a clerk make last Saturday if he worked 8 hours and had 10 orders for frames?

A.) $56 B.) $59 C.) $66 D.) $80 E.) $86

4.) If f(X) = 3X2 — X, what is f(X –1) ?

A.) 3X 2 — 7X + 2 B.) 3X2 – 7X + 4 C.) 3X2 — X – 4

D.) 3X2 — X — 2 E.) 3X2 — X — 2

5.) In a coordinate plane, the graph of the linear equation

–3X = -4Y + 8 crosses the y-axis at what value for Y?

A.) -2 B.) 3/4 C.) 0 D.) 2 E.) 8

Science:

6.) If glass beads with a diameter of 0.50 mm were placed in an hourglass, what would most likely occur?

A.) The beads would flow smoothly.

B.) The beads would not flow at all

C.) The beads would flow a little and then stop completely.

D.) The beads would flow a little, stop for a few seconds, and then start to flow again.

7.) The Sun maintains its high expenditure of energy by nuclear fusion reactions. These reactions convert the Sun’s mass into both heavier elements and radiation. What is the probably long-range consequence of this process?

A.) A constant increase in the Sun’s temperature

B.) A progressive decrease in the distance between the Sun and its planets

C.) A gradual increase in intensity of solar disturbances on Earth

D.) The eventual extinction of the Sun as a source of heat and light

Grammar:

8.) Pick the correct sentence:

A.) The clerk told us, you must be very careful when using chemicals.

B.) “I sanded the table several times, said Elizabeth.”

C.) “You can buy sandpaper” at the back of the hardware store, said Rachel.

D.) The clerk said, “The items you need are at the back of the store.”

9.) Choose the edit for the underlined word:

Opals are magnificent gems, appreciated for its brilliant, changing color.

A.) it’s B.) their C.) his D.) correct as is

Karey’s Story

At 5 years old I knew that my parents were alcoholics and drug addicts. My father was physically abusive to my mother. At the age of 7 my mother told us we were going to spend the night at my aunt’s house and she dropped us off on the front porch with a trash bag of clothes. She never came back for us, so she basically abandoned us.

My aunt and uncle got guardianship of me and my 3 siblings, very soon my uncle began to molest me. Going through that slowed my development. I wasn’t able to concentrate or focus in school. The molesting continued throughout middle school and high school. It happened for 14 years straight. I was in Special Ed Classes from elementary through high school. My speech was off, I couldn’t catch onto things like normal kids could. There were many times I wanted to tell, but I was told if I were to tell somebody I would be killed. He bribed me with money to keep me from telling. There were a few times I did tell my aunt about the incidents, but every time I told her she told me it was just a bad dream. A bus took us to church, and it was the only time I felt safe.

There was a time when my sister asked my uncle for a headache pill, instead he gave her a sleeping pill. She woke up naked next to him the next morning. After seeing what happened to her, I was fearful about what would happen to me and I couldn’t stand watching my sister go through it so I ran away. I was 17. I was scared to tell anyone even though I was gone, fearing what might happen to my sister. I had nowhere to lay my head, so I went back home and the sexual abuse started up again. When my sister was 14 she became pregnant by my uncle. She punched herself in the stomach over and over to get rid of the baby, and she did miscarry.

Every night he snuck in my room, my cries for him to stop didn’t faze him. My uncle took my virginity. I moved out, and moved in with my older cousin. I felt so little of myself and that’s when I began to use drugs. I went from marijuana to acid, ‘shrooms and pills. I also began to drink a fifth of alcohol every day. This was at the age of 18. My boyfriend was a weedhead. He was addicted to 40oz beers, marijuana and video games.

Close to my 19th birthday I found out I was pregnant with my first baby. That was a wakeup call. I didn’t want my child to be on the path I was on. I stopped drinking, I stopped drugs, I got a job and I promised myself I would give my child the best. I set goals and that’s when I decided I wanted to go to school to be a nurse and eventually a pediatric doctor. But I didn’t go back to school because I wasn’t confident in myself. I didn’t think I could do it.

By the time I was 24 and working at Dollar General I was tired of being lonely. I wanted to experience positive affection from a man, that’s when I met Lawrence. I was nervous at first but I had to let my walls down. Six months after dating I moved in with him. He has been the best provider and protector for me and my kids. In May 2014, we found out we were expecting a baby together. We were both excited. Lawrence pushed me to go forward with my goals. I was holding back on getting my HiSET but he told me, “No, you can’t wait forever.” He told me “I believe in you so you believe in yourself. Don’t do it just for the kids, you have to do it for yourself.”

I heard about Women In Charge and it has become the light at the end of the tunnel. At first I thought I would just go for a few days and then drop out, I wouldn’t be able to do it. I thought I would be slower than the other girls here. Women In Charge has boosted my confidence

having me believe I can do anything I put my mind to. They break down the work so it is easy to understand. I realize I’m not the only one going through struggles, that there are other ladies here who can relate to what I went through. I now know that I am smarter than what I thought myself to be. I was thinking I needed to get my IEP record to get extra time for the HiSET , but Sue, the math teacher, told me I didn’t need extra time.

I was a completely different person then from what I am now. I now believe in myself more and I’m glad I can be the role model my kids need. As soon as I get that HiSET I am applying for college. My girls are my biggest motivation. I don’t think I would be where I am now without them.

Practice Test Answers:

1.A 2.D 3.E 4.B 5.D 6.A 7.D 8. D 9.B

If you had 5 or more correct and at least one in every subject you might pass! Congratulations!

Where Are They Now?

Aneisha, Asst. Mgr. Schnucks Bakery

Ashay, C.N.A. training

Jalin, Ball Park Village

Amyon, licensed cosmetologist

Maya, YMCA staff

Katy, AW Healthcare

Mark your calendars for Friday, October 7th for the 2016 Gala – New night and new location!!

A+

To the mystery donor who dropped off a box of items on our wish list last fall—you made a lot of people very happy!

To the Minnie Vinnies and parishioners of Christ the King in University City for all the diapers and wipes!

To the AT&T Pioneers for the Easter baskets made for our students’ children!

To Bea & Al Amato for donating a slide

in oven for our kitchen!

Thank you!!

Wish List

• Loose leaf lined paper
• Copy paper
• Two pocket folders
• (red are the best!)
• Children’s socks 6 mos to 3T
• Children’s t-shirts 6 months to 3T

Download the Spring 2016 Newsletter PDF here.

Download the Fall 2015 Newsletter PDF here.

Download the Spring 2015 Newsletter PDF here.

Download the Fall 2014 Newsletter PDF here.

Download the Spring 2014 Newsletter PDF here.

Download the Fall 2013 Newsletter PDF here.

Download the Spring 2013 Newsletter PDF here.

Download the Fall 2012 Newsletter PDF here.

Download the Spring 2012 Newsletter PDF here.

Download the Fall 2011 Newsletter PDF here.